At the skatepark at 7am. Back again at midday for 6 hours. Up until 10pm programming. Their body is full of happy. Motivation. Commitment. Ideas. Wonder. They are now alive! Once they were facing a death. An inner dying. Of who they were born to. BE! Mainstream learning. Killed what was natural. Their autodidactic being. An inbuilt study skill. It has returned! After many years. Of no school. And following the unseen. The unknown. Learning is now abundant. I had to put aside
Pressure and I do not mix well. There are a few reasons for this. One is I identify with a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) autistic brain. It’s a brain that has no defence how it receives real or perceived demands and it panics, like an anxiety attack. I am my child – they too are PDA Autistic. Demands that internalise as pressures from others (suggestions, requests, advice, offers of assistance or ignoring our ‘no’) don’t go down well for us. All of my boundaries are wit
Others, including organisations and institutions expectations of what I should or shouldn't do or be are demands. Whether they come from a good place or not they are still demands. Their demands.
These are pressuring demands. Judgments about my life, my child and how I do or don't do things, that I should be or do differently ... their differently ... are demands. These are judgmental demands. Whether others speak it or not ... I still feel it or see it in their energy or bo
My child's mind is a brilliant creative engine who courageously informed me that when I constantly encourage or compliment them on activities they shut down because of the pressure they feel when I do that. I thought that's what my child needed to come up with and continue with their ideas and activities. That's called positive parenting right? Perhaps not when my child internalises it as pressure to perform and tells me that's why they are gaming a lot more to get away from