AWAY FROM UNEXPECTED TOUCH
After being outside in the, Cold and wind, For many hours, While my child, Skateboarded all day.
The idea of taking up, The invitation to drop in, At my friends' party, Felt too much for my body, To have to cope with.
In the past, I would have gone.
Ignoring, Or not realising, That pushing my body, Too far in this way, Is painful.
It comes at a cost.
When my body is, Sensorial overloaded like this,
It takes a considerable amount, Of energy to be social:
The effort to pretend,
Mask my difficulties, Exhausts me before leaving the house.
I don't seem to have to reserve for, And I don't want to either.
To put others first.
Where there will be more, Physical contact in some way, From someone.
I know now when I go, Because of guilt,
The obsessive fear of,
Letting good people down, I know my,
Responsibility and Relationship OCD, Will and be continue to be triggered.
That my brain is short firing.
I no longer want to deal with, My body and brain, When I get home, Or the next day.
It can take hours and days, To recoup.
That's a significant cost, To my functioning.
To my living.
I can lose a lot of precious time, Where I could be a great human, For my child, My work, And for good living.
By simply over doing it.
Expecting myself to exceed beyond,
My Sensory Processing capabilities.
For me. "SIGNS OF TACTILE DYSFUNCTION:
1. HYPERSENSITIVITY TO TOUCH (tactile defensiveness):
appears fearful of, or avoids standing in close proximity to other people or peers (especially in lines)
becomes frightened when touched from behind or by someone/something they can not see (such as under a blanket)
avoids group situations for fear of the unexpected touch"
- SPD Australia