"Mobbing" involves a group of people whose size is constrained by the social setting in which it is formed, such as a workplace.
It's a common type of abuse. Many don't even know they are supporting it (I have been guilty of this).
"Conflicts with bullies generally head in one of two directions."
"Either you begin telling people about what the bully is doing to harass you, solicit their experiences, find that they, too, have had problems with the bully, and together you report your concerns to higher management, an investigation ensues, and the bully is out the door."
I worked out I was a target of several mobbing groups and tried every possible avenue to stop the mobbing. I realised the only way to stop it was to leave. [ I don't tell people about the conflicts others have with me so I become the 'target' because of this principal of not involving others as I have viewed it as gossip. I do not engage in gossip ].
Which I did – LEAVE!
"Or the bully begins telling people about what you are doing to annoy him or her, solicits their experiences, finds that they, too, have had problems with you, and together they report their concerns to higher management, an investigation ensues, and you are out the door. Either way, bullying is no longer the issue. What you’re dealing with is a mob, and you are either an instigating participant in the mob, or you are its target."
I thought leaving would be a sign of failure, 'giving in', but it was liberating! I never thought I'd feel so good leaving the social support group I was a member for over 20 years and part of my family for nearly 40 years.
I have more energy!
I have more patience and resilience working with my child. I am free from the negative thinking that hijacked my head for many years.
"Many studies have supported a basic prediction derived from the notion of the looking-glass self, namely that our self-concepts are often quite similar to the views that others have of us".
[Leaving meant I left the collective negative views of the many women with themselves. I walked away from them and my own negative view and toward others who reflected the beautiful qualities I had always possessed that they were perhaps insecure about?]
One thing to know about mobbing. The leader feels insecure as they see their Target in some way better than themselves which is why they go to any great and any (manipulative) lengths to make themselves better than their Target. So being mobbed is a bizarre way of reassuring the Target has great qualities! Ha!
I am free – this calls for a celebration!
JUST US JUSTICE: THE GENTLE GENOCIDE OF WORKPLACE MOBBING
THE SOCIAL – THE ROLE OF THE SOCIAL SITUATION