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October 11, 2018



“Let’s go to the big city”.


I was on the phone with Daisy. Both of us were so excited. Daisy needs money. I need money, and I realised maybe Daisy with her incredible skills could sell my art. Daisy is so enthusiastic about doing that. I can’t believe someone would be excited about selling my art because I hate doing that stuff. I love painting and creating. Selling no! Exhibiting, no!


Daisy selling my art, hell yeah!


My child was nearby in their studio (office, but studio sounds fancy! Ha!) and she said out of the blue, “let's go and see Daisy!” I didn’t waste any time getting ready. This was the first time in over three years that my child has been able to go to the big city, 2 hours away, to visit someone. This is a big deal! 


My child's assistance pup is making this happen and it’s glorious.


I’ve missed out on weddings and other celebrations and my monthly visits to my wonderful psychiatrist because my child’s trauma; their unbearable anxiety and obsessional compulsive intrusive thoughts, has stopped us. My poor baby. Yet here we were, going to the big city. There were a few tricky thoughts however TOGETHER we worked through them before getting out the door. My child won’t go to other toilets due to the terror of germs.


Fortunately, my child was able to go to the toilet at home to make the trip possible.


Daisy’s new living space is unbelievable. Daisy can’t even believe how amazing it is. Also though my child's service dog isn’t certified to enter public places, where Daisy lives animals are welcome! Amazing! Both our children got along so well. They both now know when to have time out from humans, and it’s supported by us.


Our autistic children learn how to know, understand and meet their diverse needs.


Not long after we arrived, we invited Marika (known her for over three decades) to join us. It felt so surreal to be in the big city visiting friends. Something I haven't been able to do in years. Marika arrives, and not long after that, we realised we should invite Zanders to join us too! Before too long we had three of my favourite humans in the same space.


It was just magic!


I've worked so hard to change my life over the many, many, many years. Slowly working at a way of life that truly suits my child and I. The result, to be with incredible humans that just love my child and I as we are. Who celebrate and revel in our neurodivergence. These are my tribe. I'm so wrapped that Zanders was with Marika again and Daisy to meet Marika for the first time. By happenstance, they all live near one another.

They can now enjoy a beautiful friendship with Marika who's loved me since a child. 


I am so glad I let many humans go along the way. I am so happy I let go the community groups I once spent enormous amounts of my time helping. Too much time. I'm relieved I rarely attend social events – they aren't my thing. It's great my work changed in the way it did, where I'm around fewer humans. People who don't understand or relate would scream 'avoidance and isolation'. For me, it screams;




I have made room to take care of my home; my goodness that takes a lot of time! (I can't afford to pay someone to clean my home). I have made room to take care of my child and assist with their natural learning in a full-time capacity. I have made room to become a full-time service dog trainer for my child's assistance pup. I have made room to work on my work projects a few hours a week. I've made room for amazing humans. Amazing humans who I spend my time with. I am blessed to have as many as I do and it's even better when they connect like Marika, Daisy and Zanders do! These are humans that tell my child "Please come back and visit us – we love you!" Friends who tell one another how blessed they feel to be loved by us. These are my child's humans. These are my humans.


Finally after all these years – there is room for my child and room for me.


That's funny to say as I have no time off, yet it is so true. Everything I do – I love. My tribe, I spent time within the big city, I love – to the moon and back. No words can describe the feelings I felt being with them together while our kiddies were swimming in the pool. One thing for sure, I'm going to continue loving and looking after my child and I the way I have been as these experiences are too good to be true. I will continue to make room for our lives to bloom.


I can't believe how far my child and I have come – truly amazing!


* It took Daisy and their child many days to recover from all of the days activities; social exhaustion, overloaded their co-occurring conditions and recovery from trauma.





Whether I accept this or not, or have a diagnosis or not,

it is still true, 

I am to make room for my life to bloom.






To love, trust, revel and lead with our beautiful autistic minds

through knowing and acting on our Roarheart

the inner inexplainable knowledge and truth


~ our intuition ~



Reflect and create a picture or journal the answer to; 


Have I thought, felt, done or experienced things like this?



Share with another anything discovered in the Sacred Writing/Creating.


What happens with myself and time?


I pause with quiet reflection upon those moments where I am doing things that or spending time with people who take my child and I away from a life that blooms.


I am willing to THANK all my regretful, angry, fearful and negative thoughts I may have.


I will trust, even if I don’t want to, all that I am aware of now, is how it is has meant to be – to be open to something new.


I am willing to put aside everything I think I know about myself/child, my life, my past and my future, to have an open mind and a new experience with nurturing our tribe and creating a way of life that blooms.


I am open to the possibility of embracing my child's and my relationship with time receiving new thoughts to love, trust, revel and lead with our Roarheart [our inexplainable inner knowledge and truth – our intuition] learning how to know, direct and master our individualised lives.



Contamination OCD



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August 15, 2019

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