I have no idea how I stumbled across time blindness – I’m so glad I did!
My child gets really upset when then they realise there’s no time to get the things they wanted to be done. They hate and physically hurt themselves with frustration. This happens often. My response has always been;
‘Honey, you expect to do too much in such little time’.
I give them loads of love. I hold them in my arms and talk with soft loving tones, “It’s okay ... this will pass ... let’s be kind to ourselves … our brains are just tricky for now”.
I place my hands between their fist and body to soften the blows.
My child quickly calms down and talks through the thoughts and feelings they are experiencing with me. I do my best to reinforce self-love is the answer when we struggle with our limitations and trickiness. I hope as my child ages they learn to self-love instead of self-hate when they struggle like this.
I’m not sure if my child has Time Blindness.
However I thought if they do it makes sense it causes more anxiety when I word things around time. I have tried to give time frames in a wide range of different approaches to assist my child in moving onto the next activity. However, my child’s anxiety only rises. They panic. They always spiral down.
Nothing has worked.
Force, anger, pressure, complaint, criticism, manipulation doesn’t work either. It causes great distress in my child, and it increases their self-harm. Any manipulation from me causes more self-harm. I can see my child’s brain just can’t work the way they or I want it. It’s painful to witness. They have no defence against this.
Perhaps though there is another way.
My child feels really accomplished when they achieve their personal chosen tasks. When my child doesn’t feel they’ve finished something they are agitated and incomplete. I understand what it is like not being able to switch off from hyperfocus especially when I've not completed something.
The brain does not switch off and relax.
The hyperfocus can keep them awake at night when a particular project or goal has not been completed. No one needs to motivate us, we are neurologically wired in a way that we have the opposite issue;
How to stop our motivation! LOL
So I thought I’d try removing the word time out of my communication, to reduce triggering pressure or stress, and introduce a new approach entirely. Such as; “When you have completed what you intend to do we'll do ... “
My child's happy response has been, “Yes, sure!”
And guess what! Once they finish their goal, they feel accomplished and happy to move onto the next activity. This has been the first time I’ve experienced my child smoothly transitioning from one thing to another. And it’s not just that my child has caught on very quickly. They now tell me what they plan to achieve before moving onto whatever we need to do after that.
They are planning!!!!!!!! They are organising themselves!!!!
I didn’t know some humans really find time a really tricky thing. I feel so happy for my child. I can stop triggering their panic and reduce their anxiety. I can provide an experience where they are free of anxiety and filled with satisfaction and achievement just because I stopped talking about TIME! Oh, and now my child is falling asleep earlier as a sweet bonus. Good sleep will give my child and I more energy and good thoughts during the day.
How wonderful is that!
* Note: Time restraints can also be a anxiety/panic trigger for a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidant) brain like my child's.
STRETCH _ EMBRACE _ SOAR
Whether I accept this or not, or have a diagnosis or not,
it is still true,
my child and or myself lose time with time and can panic with time restraints.
INTRAPERSONAL CREATIVE QUEST
To love, trust, revel and lead with our beautiful autistic minds
through knowing and acting on our Roarheart
the inner inexplainable knowledge and truth
~ our intuition ~
Reflect and create a picture or journal the answer to;
Have I thought, felt, done or experienced things like this?
Share with another anything discovered in the Sacred Writing/Creating.
What happens with myself and time?
I pause with quiet reflection upon those moments where I lose track of , can't keep up with or manage or I'm panicked by time.
TODAY’S THANK YOU
I am willing to THANK all my regretful, angry, fearful and negative thoughts I may have.
I will trust, even if I don’t want to, all that I am aware of now, is how it is has meant to be – to be open to something new.
I am willing to put aside everything I think I know about myself/child, my life, my past and my future, to have an open mind and a new experience with time.
I am open to the possibility of embracing my child's and my relationship with time receiving new thoughts to love, trust, revel and lead with our Roarheart [our inexplainable inner knowledge and truth – our intuition] learning how to know, direct and master our individualised lives.
Time Blindness – Dyschronometria
PDA Behavioural Strategies