I've had a few women share their experiences which I found validating.
They worry they might be a misogynist because they don't like the women in the community group that I am now leaving. When I say it, I still think 'wow am I really leaving?' They feel frightened of the other women's violence (I don't thing they were talking about physical violence).
However, they may not be aware some of these women have been physically violent toward adults and children.
She asked if I knew of the excessive aggressiveness of many members of the community group. I said I had. She asked me if I knew what it was. I said I wasn't entirely sure, but all I know is that they weren't very supportive (many pretended to be) of my parent when they were faced with a terminal illness and turned on me when I was suicidal.
And followed that up with verbal abuse and attack. [ Nice ].
I have been around this community group for nearly 40 years from when I was a child. What I've witnessed and experienced is a lot of violence. She felt it was because visiting groups who fail to support safety was perhaps the cause of the increased aggression.
"I believe it accelerated a problem that was already there".
For some reason, the community group seems to be the perfect feeding ground to nourish abuse. No–one can step in and stop it. Meaning NO ONE has that authority in the community group to do so. If I speak up about it I am seen in a negative way. Of course and...
It just keeps ongoing.
It didn't happen in our women's groups though because we had worked out strategies to protect our safety and wellbeing when it came to others anger and the many faces it has, sometimes anger smiles but there's nothing funny about it.
No surprises that we became the target for mobbing!
Mobbing starts with one person who feels insecure enough to drive down or out whomever they feel threatened.
[ The members of our groups were mostly PDA Autistics. Which nearly suggests that PDA Autistics become the target of mobbing as we resist the demands of others and expectations of others. We are compelled to do differently to be in alignment with who we are. Our neurology doesn't give us a choice about that.
As PDA'ers we don't have a choice.
Our PDA neurology demands us to be in tune with who we are born to be and if we don't we become emotionally and mentally unwell. My child's and my own lived experiences inform me of this.
Others, in our case women, can be very threatened by this not just in community groups, but in friendship circles and in particular our families – this is where we experience accumulative grief and loss and CPTSD from the negative view or treatment of others who can't control us ].
We supported our members to feel safe and respected.
However, as we were the minority groups in this particular community, where we placed equality and respect first [not believing in the hierarchy of self-appointed authorities inside this particular community group], we were the target of mobbing.
Of course, we are!
[ We say 'no' to them and this is judged as a 'lack of co-operation' that we don't do or act in the way that they want us to ]. I explained that one way to stop the mobbing is to leave. Otherwise, we can expect the mobbing will continue and intensify in numbers until we do.
Those who lead mobbing feel insecure and deficient compared to their target/s. The leader of the mobbing sees their target as better than themselves in some way. They feel so threatened that the only way to deal with their low view of themselves is to get rid of their target.
I think that's quite complimentary.
All the mob leaders (there are many in this community group) targeted my friends, family member and I. How nice that they think, according to research about what drives mobbing, we were all better than them in some way. Me!
That makes me giggle.
Their anger, rage and telling others we're "sick", "controlling", "bitches" or "a shiny narcissists" is their way of communicating they believe they are unworthy. I've done this myself many many years ago when I felt jealous, rejected and not good enough.
I DIDN'T REALISE HOW TRANSPARENT I WAS!!!
They are people, women, who are genuinely suffering. And instead of being able to let us know the great qualities they see in us, they show it via their invisible manipulative behaviour instead. [They are usually dishonest about their real behaviour and motives when rallying others on their side].
I always wondered how to let other people experience the pain of their unhealthy behaviour.
Rather than suffer for it. How to get them to drink the poison they have had me successfully drink for all these years, including those in my friendship groups, family, work settings, school, etc.?
Know that being their target screams out how amazing they think we are!
What weapon could they then use to bring me down when any effort to bring me down only makes me feel more wonderful about myself? Imagine that! I feel better and better when they attack me more and more! It's the most brilliant solution around for when being mobbed! Accept and trust and believe myself when I am being mobbed.
Know it's my good qualities they wish they could have!
I thought when liked by many was a sign of being a great human. Well, the opposite can be true. When hated by heaps of humans, it can be a sign of one's goodness too! I'm not one to want to see myself better than anyone; however, I don't mind knowing those who are harmful toward me see my good qualities.
It's better than bittersweet – it's glorious!
The mob leader/s want to take revenge on their target but the Target can have all the power. A strong reassurance of our qualities. Their human weapons fail to achieve the desired outcome – to bring the Target down.
It can have the opposite effect – raising the Target up!
The mob leader/s revenge becomes a weapon that turns against them. They land on their swords! They then have a real opportunity to choose another way of dealing with their unworthiness and to work toward being truly free.
JUST LIKE THEIR TARGET!