ACCEPTING MY AUTISTIC LIMITS
Perhaps not in the way I or others expect.
There are so many things I am capable of doing and being and there are so many things I am not.
I studied and received awards but I couldn't make myself get a job in the field I studied in.
I could get into a relationship but I couldn't keep up with the sexy sex stuff and/or keep them.
I wrote a brilliant book but no one knows about it.
I love painting and most of them are hidden in my house and garage.
See I am smart and talented and yet we can see I have obvious real difficulties.
Difficulties that stop me from going all the way that I and others don't expect.
We can't see my difficulties by looking at me or seeing the work I produce.
My difficulties show themselves in other ways.
I embrace, respect and work with them as a part of who I am.
My studies helps to create my own design work; website, all my images and designed my book.
My book will get there, published, in it's own time.
Ended relationships have shown me sex is not love ... love is love and a neurology like mine makes it a thousand times tricky and energy I preserve for the role of a full time Carer of my child.
I love the life my child and I are living, I can take better care of my child now that I'm taking care of myself.
I'll keep on painting because it fills my heart with joy and goodness, they are a splash of colour to my work.
I'll keep on writing, published or not, it helps me to process my thoughts in a way that I can live a life that fits my child and I.
I may not go all the way ... I might only go part of the way or take a long long time to make it however I will always find a way that works for me and my child.
#Roarheart #FAN #Feminine and neurodiverse #Actually autistic #Autually autistic adult #Neurodiverse #Neurowonderful #asd #Autism acceptance #Expectations #Sexpectations #Difficulties #Hiddenstruggles #Autism #Neurodivergence