I DIDN'T SEE OR KNOW MYSELF
The cost of looking good;
I didn't value who I was I placed my self worth upon how I looked I spent way too much money on making myself look the best.
I spent too many hours, days, weeks, months, years thinking about it.
It wasted a lot of time.
I missed out on experiencing real joy, present living and connectedness with others.
I competed with others constantly.
I starved, binged, spewed to keep up the 'look'.
I damaged my body.
I hurt my mind and heart.
I chose partners who liked the way I looked, not how they treated me or who they were as people.
I didn't SEE or KNOW myself.
I chose partners and many friends who were blind as well.
It took many years to see and know my truth.
Looking good for love isn't love.
Being the skinniest and prettiest has nothing to do what I can bring to the world.
Has nothing to do with much at all.
I let go of the hype around that stuff.
I no longer buy into the marketing that sells looking the best impresses the rest.
If others only like me for my looks then they really don't like me at all.
Same goes for me.
#Roarheart #FAN #neurodivergence #Autism #Feminine and neurodiverse #Actually autistic #Autually autistic adult #Neurodiverse #Neurowonderful #asd #Autism acceptance #Selfacceptance #Selfrejection #Selfhate #Disorderedeating #sexpectations