Dr Bruce Perry says we look at our phones 150 times a day.

That it disconnects us from being present to others when they are talking to us.

To heal my child I need to be present.

Brucey says even if the phone buzzes in our pockets we are immediately distracted causing a disconnect and a lack of presence.

I didn't have a phone for a few days.

I observed my child and I were remarkably happier.

I kept off my phone for nearly two weeks.

This is what we discovered.

I was way more relaxed.

I was present to my child.

When they talked to me I heard them.

We were more energised.

When they wanted to play, I played.

When they wanted to wrestle, I wrestled.

When they wanted to play nerf wars, I lost every time!


We joked more.

We engaged more.

We were just freakin happy.

So I made some changes when the phone returned.

I mostly always do the following.

The phone stays on silent or buzz.

Guests are asked to do the same.

All notifications are off.

No phone calls are recieved or made in the main areas by myself or anyone else.

Guests or professionals are asked to do the same.

I never answer unknown numbers.

All humans are required to leave a message if they want me to know they called.

No screens at the diner table when eating.

No answering calls when were at the diner table eating together.

Only check the phone a few times a day for messages.

Check email once a day.

No facebook.

When I'm with others I stay off the phone.

I practice presence in all I do.

My child and I have stayed happier and had so much more fun since.

No regrets!

I show my child the phone is a fantastic tool.

That is used wisely.

It doesn't use us.

Just because we are contactable doesn't mean we're available.

My head is up not held down.

By a screen.

I am present to:



Ok, singing and grooving whilst driving! lol

The dog.

The activities I am engaged in:

The bush.

The air.

The water.

The leaves.

The dirt.

The body I walk in.

The world around me.

Rather than the world stuck inside me.

I connect by disconnecting with the phone


#Roarheart #FAN #ThePhone #PhoneAddiction

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​We acknowledge our indigenous and LBGTQ2IA+ Neurodivergent Autistic humans.


We use identity-first language, "I am autistic", as opposed to "I'm a person with autism", reflecting Autism at the core of our identity, that Autism is a Spectrum, a part of neurodivergence and not a disorder. We radically embrace and celebrate neurodivergence.


Authoritarian and conforming learning and approaches such as ABA or Applied Behaviour Analysis, treatment or cures, ableism or functioning labels are harmful to our neurodivergent neurobiologies.




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