WHERE ARE YOU?

It was 24 years
Living in my head
Unaware of the present moment
Before my parent took me
Through a series of questions
They created. Innovation is a strength for autistics.
That brought me out of
The film I was watching
And reacting to
In my head
Playing on and on and on
About the past
Causing guilt, anger and grief
That I could have
Should have
Done different some how.
About the future
Causing fear and terror
That whatever was going to happen
It wasn't going to be good.
Catastrophising is another Thing I do as an autistic.
And about fantasy
Causing disappointed
That I have not lived up to
My or others expectations.
I was in deep emotional pain
And mental torment Reaction to the stories Playing in my mind.
Then my parent asked me:
WHERE ARE YOU?
Well I was anywhere but in the moment.
It took me ages to understand the question.
Then bam!
I saw the room I was sitting in.
The walls.
The curtains.
Everything.
The only thing real
Was right in front of me!
And I had missed it all along.
I thought the moment Was boring at first.
Nothing really goes on
In the moment
When I'm not reacting to the
Film in my head.
There's no drama.
Until I learnt how to be
Truly present
I learnt it was the only place
I could truly create
And connect to others.
And now with my child.
I see all the detail of life
When I can be out of my head
And with what is now.
Is a powerful place to be.
#Roarheart #FAN #ActuallyAutistic #Present #LivingInTheMoment #Connection